Ning Bai looked at the boy painfully, and the boy seemed to be somewhat absent-minded.

Ning Bai took a deep breath, took a step forward, gently embraced the boy in his arms, and said in a hoarse voice: “I’m sorry, it’s all my fault…”

He had no way to defend himself.

He shouldn’t have seen it.

Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, then suddenly pushed him away and looked at him with hatred!

Went back to the room and slammed the door!

Lin Ziran leaned against the door, his eyes changed, and he exhaled. Thinking carefully, Ning Bai was worried that Lu Xiaodong would be depressed after reading the diary, which made sense… Now think back to the original story of Lu Xiaodong. After he failed to pursue Ning Bai, he was sent abroad with his legs broken and abandoned by his beloved parents. Perhaps it was because of the despair of losing everything that he died after becoming addicted to drugs.

Lu Xiaodong may have really committed suicide.

Ning Bai is so smart. He must have felt uneasy after seeing the diary, so he stayed with him all the time. This also explains why he didn’t come before, but came later. That was when he found the diary.

Ning Bai’s abnormality can basically be explained.

It’s just such a shameful thing…

Even if he is not the real Lu Xiaodong, it’s still a bit weird to have his diary read…

Lin Ziran looked a little embarrassed.

Then he sighed.

【Lin Ziran: Speaking of which, I suddenly remembered something. Your game design is quite meticulous. The handwriting on this notebook is the same as mine.】  The same is true for the first world. All places with Lu Zhen’s handwriting are written in his handwriting. Otherwise, it would have been exposed when he signed his name when he played the role of the president.

【System proudly said: All text props related to the characters played by players are generated by extracting the player’s own handwriting. We are committed to providing players with the most realistic gaming experience.】

【Lin Ziran: It is indeed very thoughtful. 】

………………

At night, Ning Bai knocked on the door and said cautiously: “Xiaodong, come out for dinner.”

Lin Ziran would not go against the meal, so he opened the door and walked out.

Ning Bai looked a little nervous, afraid of irritating Lin Ziran, so he didn’t say a word during the meal.

Lin Ziran poked at the food in his bowl. Actually, after all this, he didn’t hate Ning Bai that much. After all, Ning Bai was just playing a trick on him, and he had volunteered to do it. Now he was taking revenge on him for double the amount…

It’s even, he guesses.

He looked up at Ning Bai, who had a silent expression and two band-aids on his forehead… Lin Ziran was too embarrassed to lose his temper with him again.

He was just pretending, who knew this guy wouldn’t even try to dodge!

Ning Bai didn’t have to be so nice to him. He probably had a conscience, unlike his scumbag parents.

After all, he was not the culprit for Lu Xiaodong’s tragedy.

In the original plot, he was even a victim.

He doesn’t need him to compensate him.

If he must say he(NB) did something wrong… maybe it was that when he said he liked him and pursued him, he(NB) played a trick on him? He(NB) even slept with him three times?

Cough cough cough.

But anyway, reading people’s diaries is really maddening!

Lin Ziran lowered his head to eat.

Ning Bai raised his eyes slightly, glanced at the boy in front of him, pursed his lips tightly, and felt very regretful. He had finally made the boy cheerful again and stopped thinking about the past, but because of his carelessness, he failed.

It’s all his fault…

At this moment, there was a knock on the door.

Ning Bai stood up and walked over to open the door. When he saw Lu Maofeng at the door, his face slightly changed and he said, in a low voice: “What are you doing here?”

Lu Maofeng looked a little nervous when he saw Ning Bai’s cold and unwelcoming expression. He didn’t know why he was a little afraid of his son. To prevent Ning Bai from chasing him away, he quickly said: “I’m here to look for Xiaodong.”

Ning Bai’s expression became even colder: “He’s not here.”

As he spoke, he was about to close the door.

At this time, Lin Ziran came over and said calmly: “Who asked you to make the decision for me?”

Ning Bai’s face turned pale.

Lu Maofeng finally saw Lin Ziran. He rubbed his hands, and a flattering look appeared on his chubby face. He said: “Xiaodong, your mother is sick and wants to see you.”

Lin Ziran raised his eyebrows. No way, what kind of bloody plot is this? He is afraid it must be a lie! Even if Feng Wan is really sick, it’s impossible for her to want to see him.

The only person she wanted to see was Ning Bai.

Lu Maofeng saw Lin Ziran’s suspicion and said sincerely: “It’s true, she really wants to see you, you… I know you blame us, but after all, we have been together for so many years. Can you go see her?”

Ning Bai said coldly: “I’ll go.” He wanted to see what tricks Feng Wan had.

Lu Maofeng was very embarrassed: “But she wants to see Xiaodong, but if Ning Bai, you are worried, you can come together…”

Lin Ziran pondered for a moment, then suddenly raised his mouth and smiled: “I’ll go.”

【System: Are you willing to go see her?】

【Lin Ziran: Of course, I am the winner now, she might beg for mercy, why should I be afraid to meet her? 】

【System:……】

【Lin Ziran: Today is the day for me, Lu Xiaodong, to be proud! 】

When Lu Maofeng heard that Lin Ziran was willing to go, he was very happy and repeatedly said: “Dad knew that you are a kind child.”

Lin Ziran gave him a cold smile in return.

Ning Bai felt a little uneasy. He wanted to stop it, but it was the boy’s decision, and he couldn’t interfere. Or maybe he was still thinking about Feng Wan…

He was silent for a moment, then said: “I’ll go with you.”

………………

The three came to the hospital.

Feng Wan was really sick and was hospitalized. She had not been in good health in recent years and had some neurasthenia. She accidentally fell while cooking a few days ago. Lin Ziran hadn’t seen her for a few days, and she looked thinner than before…

As soon as Feng Wan saw Lin Ziran coming, her expression became a little excited. She stretched out her thin hand to hold his hand and said hoarsely: “I’m sorry, Mom was so angry before. It’s all Mom’s fault. Those were just angry words. Don’t take them to heart… In fact, Mom cares about you. You are Mom’s good child. No matter what you do, Mom will not blame you…”

Lin Ziran looked at her sarcastically.

Feng Wan’s voice was intermittent, and her eyes were pleading. In the past, she looked at him with indifference, disregard, boredom, and impatience… This was the first time she had humbly begged someone she once didn’t care about. Feng Wan choked up and said: “Xiaodong… For the sake of these twenty years, please come home with mom. Mom will treat you well…”

Feng Wan paused, a glimmer of hope flashed in her eyes, and she said nervously: “Also, you, it doesn’t matter who you want to be with, even if it’s Ning Bai, Mom won’t blame you for this, you are all Mom’s good children…”

After hearing this, how could Lin Ziran not understand Feng Wan’s idea? She was giving in to him.

In order to make Ning Bai willing to go home, she pretended to love him very much and even stopped opposing him being with Ning Bai. It stands to reason that Feng Wan bowed her head and begged him. It should be a very happy thing, but he found that it was just like that…

Because even if she compromised and admitted defeat, it was still for Ning Bai.

Not for Lu Xiaodong.

Lin Ziran suddenly wasn’t very angry anymore. In fact, this woman was also very sad, wasn’t she? Even though she hurt others, she was never happy. There was no good result in hurting others and yourself. It was a pity… Lu Xiaodong didn’t have the right to choose.

Lin Ziran lowered his head, his eyes half-smiled, approached her, and said to her: “Who said that I value your forgiveness?”

Lu Xiaodong never needed Feng Wan’s forgiveness.

Feng Wan’s face turned pale, and she trembled slightly with anger, as if she couldn’t believe that this was what the child said. She had clearly let go of her pride, so why was he still unwilling to come back? Didn’t he care about her words the most?

Lin Ziran looked at her with disappointment. This woman would never understand where she was wrong.

He turned and walked away.

Ning Bai immediately followed him out. When they got outside, Ning Bai grabbed Lin Ziran’s wrist, his eyes full of worry, and said: “I said you don’t have to come…”

Feng Wan’s intentions were so obvious.

Lin Ziran must have noticed it, too.

Lin Ziran looked into his worried eyes, shrugged, and said with a carefree smile: “I’m fine.”

He looked calm and composed.

It was none of his business in the first place, and the reason he came here today was just to give Lu Xiaodong an explanation.

Ning Bai looked into Lin Ziran’s eyes. At that moment, he felt that the boy had really let it go and didn’t care anymore. But he was also afraid that he had seen it wrong…

Lin Ziran suddenly looked at Ning Bai curiously and asked: “Why, don’t you want to go home?”

He had figured out the other things, but this was the one thing he couldn’t figure out. Although Feng Wan didn’t treat Lu Xiaodong very well, her love for Ning Bai was unquestionable.

But Ning Bai was willing to hurt her for him.

Ning Bai saw Lin Ziran’s doubts, and his lips moved slightly. Some things could not be explained in a few words, and he did not want the boy to worry. He said slowly and seriously: “I said that it has nothing to do with you if I don’t go back. You just need to know this.”

Lin Ziran saw that this guy didn’t want to talk, so forget it, he wouldn’t force it.

After all, who doesn’t have some secrets?

………………

Seeing Ning Bai’s sincere attitude, Lin Ziran was too lazy to bother him. Besides, he was leaving soon, so why bother him?

He’s not that bored.

And it’s also tiring to mess up a house…

After dinner that day, Ning Bai looked at Lin Ziran gently and said: “You are about to start school. How about I rent a house for you near the school? This way it will be more convenient for you to go to school.”

Lin Ziran was absent-minded: “Whatever.”

Ning Bai added: “We will need to buy some more clothes by then. Forget about the clothes we didn’t take before. What kind do you like? I’ll go shopping with you, okay…

By the way, if you don’t like the car you have, how about I buy you a new one?”

Lin Ziran: “…”

Seeing Ning Bai thinking so seriously about what he would do after school started, including food, clothing, housing, and transportation, he suddenly felt a little embarrassed to tell him the truth. He can’t tell Ning Bai that he didn’t plan to go to school at all, can he?

At this time, Xue Ze came over.

Lin Ziran heaved a sigh of relief.

Xue Ze looked at Ning Bai and Lin Ziran and said with a smile: “Oh, you two are so sweet. Xiaodong, don’t worry. Ning Bai is different from me. He is very loyal and will never betray you!”

Ning Bai said in a deep voice: “Don’t talk nonsense. He and I are not in that kind of relationship.”

Lin Ziran kept a straight face and said nothing.

Xue Ze immediately pulled his lips to indicate that he would not talk nonsense again, but his eyes kept glancing at the two people.

After the three of them had dinner together in the evening, Xue Ze said to Ning Bai aggrievedly: “You can finally come back to work now, right? You can’t leave everything to me anymore!”

Ning Bai hesitated for a moment.

Lin Ziran immediately said: “You go to work, I’m fine.”

Although Ning Bai was a little worried, he saw that Lin Ziran was indeed fine, and he had been following him all the time, which might make him unhappy. After thinking for a moment, he nodded and said: “Okay, I will go back tomorrow.”

………………

The next day, when Lin Ziran got up, Ning Bai had already gone out, and he was the only one in the empty house.

He yawned and found that Ning Bai had already made breakfast for him. He just needed to heat it up in the microwave. There was also a note on the refrigerator, written in Ning Bai’s neat and powerful handwriting: Wait for me to come back and cook in the evening, don’t order takeout.

Lin Ziran rubbed his eyes and ate his meal without washing his face.

He played games at home until five in the afternoon.

It suddenly started to rain heavily outside.

Raindrops hit the window with a crackling sound. Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, opened the drawer in the study, found the Lamborghini car key that he disliked, and went out.

Lin Ziran drove aimlessly.

It was raining heavily, and even though the wipers were scraping quickly, the view ahead was still a little blurry, and the whole world looked gray.

【System: What are you going to do? 】

【Lin Ziran was silent for a moment: I can’t really wait until school starts before leaving…】

【System: …】This player is really amazing in order to avoid class.

The car was about to get on a bridge.

Lin Ziran stepped on the accelerator, and suddenly the steering wheel turned, and the car crashed through the guardrail and fell off the bridge.

At this moment, the phone happened to light up, and Lin Ziran looked down. It was a text message from Ning Bai: There is a little traffic jam, I will be back a little later.

………………

Ning Bai hadn’t been back to the office for a long time. He was delayed for a while because of a lot of work. He sent a text message to Lu Xiaodong and continued driving. It was already half past six when he got home, but to his surprise, the lights in the house were off, and there was no sound of people.

Ning Bai opened every room but didn’t see Lu Xiaodong. Then he started to call Lu Xiaodong, but the phone was always turned off, and he couldn’t get through… Ning Bai’s anxiety kept growing. He carefully checked every corner of the house and found that the car key in the drawer was missing.

Lu Xiaodong didn’t like the car he bought for him, so he never touched it. Why did he suddenly think of driving it out today?

Ning Bai immediately called his friend and asked the traffic police to help him find the whereabouts of the Lamborghini, and then waited anxiously.

He waited for more than an hour and soon got a reply, but his friend hesitated and refused to speak directly.

Ning Bai’s face turned pale, and he said sternly: “What’s going on!”

The friend said: “I’ll send you an address, come over now.”

Ning Bai rushed out without even opening his umbrella, driving like a madman, not caring at all about running a red light. He soon arrived at the bridge that had broken through the guardrail. Under the bridge was a rolling river, and the area was surrounded by a fence, with several police cars parked nearby…

Ning Bai walked forward woodenly until he came to the breach, looking at the murky river water under the bridge, but he couldn’t see clearly what was inside… so he wanted to get closer to take a closer look, but was suddenly pulled back by someone!

The police said: “What are you doing? You can’t go over there, it’s dangerous!”

Ning Bai’s Adam’s apple rolled, and his voice was hoarse, as if each word was squeezed out from his chest. He said: “Where is the person?”

The police said: “The search and rescue team is already searching.”

Then Ning Bai stopped talking. He just stood there and waited, letting the rain pour down on his face and body. He didn’t move. After several hours, the car was finally successfully salvaged.

Ning Bai stared ahead, and this time, he finally saw clearly…

The boy was inside, still wearing his seatbelt, but he wouldn’t move anymore…

Ning Bai walked over in a daze. He thought it was an illusion. He had imagined that there was no one in the car, but now he could no longer deceive himself. He reached out to hug the boy but was stopped by the police, who asked: “Who are you to the deceased?”

Ning Bai lowered his eyes and said softly in a gentle voice, as if he was afraid of disturbing someone: “I am his Gege.”

The police looked at him like this, sighed, and stopped trying to stop him.

Ning Bai carefully carried the boy out of the car, and pushed the wet hair on his forehead to one side, revealing the boy’s handsome and quiet face, but it was a little white due to the blisters, and looked a little embarrassed… Ning Bai closed his arms and hugged him tightly in his arms, as if he wanted to use his body to warm the other’s cold body…

“Did you do this on purpose? Or…was this just an accident?” Ning Bai asked in a soft voice.

But the other party will never reply to him again.

He is so quiet.

Won’t get angry, won’t make a fuss, won’t throw a tantrum, won’t provoke him…

Won’t talk about liking him anymore.

Seeing that he didn’t answer, Ning Bai asked sadly: “You did it on purpose, right…”

Because you are blaming me, blaming me for not understanding you earlier, blaming me for not falling in love with you earlier, blaming me for not holding your hand earlier…

When you stood on the edge of the cliff, approaching me like a moth to a flame, I didn’t understand your despair and helplessness, but pushed you away again and again…

Or, if I could be brave enough to get over the past earlier, I could welcome your arrival with another me…

None of this will happen.

I had the chance to fall in love with you earlier and take you out of that home earlier…

But I’m just a coward.

I can’t even save myself, how can I save you?

Actually……

I am the most useless person.

………………

A few days later, Ning Bai personally took care of the funeral.

Jiang Xuan rushed over after hearing the news. He found the result unbelievable. The boy was fine not long ago, how could he suddenly die?

What happened?

Jiang Xuan grabbed Ning Bai by the collar, his eyes red, and angrily said: “Why didn’t you take good care of him!”

Ning Bai did not move, but just looked at him coldly, and said with a sarcastic voice: “I want to ask you, are you satisfied with this result?”

What do you mean?

Jiang Xuan met Ning Bai’s eyes. He realized something, his face suddenly turned pale, he let go of his hand dejectedly, and took a step back.

Yes, what right did he have to blame Ning Bai? He was the one who exposed Lu Xiaodong’s identity because he thought he could get this person, but he ended up killing him with his own hands. At that time, he never thought that the boy would really choose to go to a dead end…

It’s his fault.

His fault.

At this time, Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan also came.

Lu Maofeng seemed a little sad. He supported Feng Wan and walked over, whispering to him comfortingly: “My condolences.”

Ning Bai suddenly felt it was ironic.

He is your son, you raised him for twenty years, shouldn’t someone else say ‘deep condolences’ to you?

Lu Maofeng felt very embarrassed when he saw no one paying attention to him. Then he saw Jiang Xuan and immediately approached him and said in a flattering manner: “Mr. Jiang, you are here too.”

Jiang Xuan didn’t say anything, just looked at him coldly.

This gaze made Lu Maofeng very uncomfortable, as if he was being stabbed in the back. Did he, did he offend Jiang Xuan in any way?

Feng Wan pushed Lu Maofeng’s hand away, she staggered over, looked at the tombstone in front of her, a smile appeared in the depths of her eyes, but she quickly hid it, and then she seemed very sad and said to Ning Bai: “How could this happen? How could Xiaodong get into trouble? He…”

Ning Bai looked at her calmly, seemingly unwilling to say anything more, and only uttered two words: “Accident.”

Feng Wan looked at him with tears in her eyes and said: “Xiao Bai, don’t be too sad… otherwise, mom will worry about you. Mom has already lost a son and can’t live without you again.”

Ning Bai just stared at her, his blood slowly cooling down. All of this made him feel so absurd and ridiculous…

He suddenly stepped forward and chuckled in Feng Wan’s ear: “No, you no longer have a son.”

Feng Wan listened to his cold and playful tone, her expression froze, and she said in a daze: “You, you are still here, aren’t you…”

Ning Bai seemed to be laughing, but there was no warmth in his laughter, only bone-chilling coldness. He said: “There is one thing I have never told you – it was not you who lost me back then, it was me who let go of your hand first, it was me – I don’t want you anymore…

Your son died twenty years ago.”

Feng Wan’s pupils suddenly contracted, and she looked at him in disbelief. Looking at the cold and ruthless face of the man in front of her, her lips trembled: “No, it’s not like that. How could you not want your mom? It can’t be like this…”

Ning Bai smiled gently and looked at her deeply: “This is the truth, why don’t you just admit it?”

Feng Wan stared at him intently, and suddenly, deep hatred appeared in her eyes. She shouted sharply: “How could you do this! Mom loves you so much, and Mom has given everything for you, how could you do this to me! You devil, you are not my son! You are not my son! You are just a devil in his skin!”

Feng Wan had a twisted smile on her face and rushed out madly, laughing as she ran: “I don’t have a son, all my sons are dead! All dead! I don’t have a son, I don’t have a son…”

Ning Bai looked at Feng Wan’s back as she left, but his expression remained indifferent, as if he was looking at an insignificant person.

Lu Maofeng looked at this scene, his face turned pale and his body stiffened with shock, and he even looked at Ning Bai with some fear…

Feng Wan went crazy.

He felt that he should not have come today and quietly moved back. The scene here made him very uneasy. Suddenly, his shoulders were pressed down, and Jiang Xuan looked at him with dark and cold eyes and raised the corner of his mouth: “Let’s talk.”

Lu Maofeng: “…”

It’s quiet around him.

Ning Bai focused on the tombstone in front of him, gently stroked it, and looked at the smiling face of the boy on it, as if all his beauty was frozen in this moment.

Me, Jiang Xuan, Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan.

Each of us is a murderer.

Sorry.

Even though I said so much about them, what I hate most is not them…but myself.

Hate my own powerlessness.

Hate my own cowardice and incompetence.

Ning Bai closed his eyes, and the scene that emerged in front of him was the first time the boy met him. He was wearing a bleak and curious makeup, but his smile was very bright, his eyes were shining, and he smiled and said to him: “Handsome, I’ll buy you a drink?”

Those once frivolous words have now become his extravagant hope.

If I could go back to the past, I would keep you by my side from that moment on and love you with all my heart.

………………

Three months later.

Xue Ze looked at Ning Bai who was concentrating on his work and said worriedly: “Why don’t you go out for a vacation to relax? There’s no rush for work.”

Ning Bai raised his eyes to look at him and said calmly: “Don’t you always say that I am heartless and unreasonable for leaving you alone to work?”

Xue Ze: “…”

He wanted to say something, but in the end he just sighed. If he had known this would happen, he would have been better off not being tempted.

Love is indeed a hurtful thing.

Xue Ze turned and left.

Ning Bai did not work overtime today, he made an appointment with a psychologist.

Arrived at the clinic on time at 8pm.

The doctor looked at him and smiled: “Have you been feeling better recently?”

Ning Bai’s voice was hoarse: “It’s still the same.”

The doctor asked: “What does it look like?”

Ning Bai’s deep emotion was a little dazed. He seemed to have thought of something and spoke slowly with empty eyes.

“There was a dark room with me and a child in it.

We were stuck there.

He called me Gege, and said Gege, I am very scared.

It’s dark here.

I said don’t be afraid, I’ll take you out.

I knocked hard but couldn’t find the door.

I keep pulling him.

He suddenly stopped moving.

He said, Gege, you can’t save me.

You can’t even save yourself.

It turns out that he has been there for a long, long time…

But I don’t know.

I have no idea.”

Ning Bai paused for a moment and said slowly: “Then he died.”

The doctor asked in a gentle voice: “Still can’t fall asleep?”

Ning Bai nodded.

The doctor asked him some more questions, said some words of comfort to him, and finally said: “I’ll prescribe some medicine for you.”

Ning Bai left from there.

The doctor sighed. He rarely saw such a patient. No matter how many times he came, there was no improvement. Or maybe he just didn’t want to come out. Or maybe… he just came to get medicine?

………………

Ning Bai returned home.

The house was in a mess, just like when the boy was still there. He casually pulled off his tie, threw his coat on the sofa, and left his slippers at his feet.

Don’t tidy it up too much, it’ll be as if he’s still here.

Ning Bai lay on the bed, he took medicine and closed his eyes.

Since that day, he could only fall asleep by taking sleeping pills.

But as time went by, the effect of the medicine seemed to be getting worse and worse. Today, he doesn’t know what happened. Even if he took a higher dose, he still couldn’t fall asleep. He was in a daze, with all kinds of messy thoughts in his mind, which made him breathless.

He suddenly opened his eyes and struggled to reach out for the medicine, but he couldn’t find it for a long time. Instead, he touched the diary.

He has always kept this diary next to his pillow.

This was the only thing the boy left for him, but he no longer had the courage to open it.

He is still so cowardly.

All this is like a nightmare, an endless cycle with no escape.

He can never get out.

Ning Bai tightly grasped the diary. He laughed miserably and finally opened it again. He felt like a walking corpse, gradually unable to distinguish between reality and illusion. Perhaps only pain could let him know that he was still alive, even if he opened the bloody wound again…

But he wanted to feel the meaning of existence.

Familiar words and sentences appeared before his eyes. Ning Bai read them slowly, page by page, like using a knife to slowly cut his skin and bones. But he suddenly enjoyed this feeling because he felt very close to the boy.

So close that it seems within reach.

It’s like being by his side.

From early morning till dawn, the faint morning light leaked in through the gaps in the curtains.

Ning Bai finally turned to the last page and paused.

He doesn’t know when a sentence was added above: I have gone to another world, don’t worry about me.

Ning Bai’s hands trembled slightly as he gently stroked the words.

It turns out that you are such a fool…

You are actually afraid that I will worry about you…

You are so nice, but why…

Why didn’t you treat yourself better?

Ning Bai raised his hand to cover his eyes, and after a long while, a tear fell from between his fingers.

But you are so stupid, how can I,

Not worried?